Yeh hey India meri jaan!!!

NHAI starts fencing of the Delhi Gurgaon Expressway..read the Hindusthan Times news article on Monday the 23rd February 2009.
The move was to discourage pedestrians from crossing the busy expressway.As many as 45 pedestrians have been killed and more than 50 injured on the 27.7 km expressway which has just two subways at the distance of 18 km.

Now the question is "Do we Indians really need such measures to make us follow basic rules and regulations?" Or are we Indians just a fun loving people who throw caution to the wind?
Are we careless people who care a hoot for what can happen to our lives and the life of others?

My personal opinion is that our roads can be decongested by 10-15% if we Indians decide to follow the basic traffic rules and have a better traffic sense.Our roads can be decongested a further 20% if instead of adding new roads,we make our existing roads "drive worthy".

But the basic question still lingers in my mind? why are we not law abiding citizens?Why do we jump red lights when the traffic police turns the other way?why do we not stand in queues while boarding or deboarding the metro ( my favorite topic).Why do we seek the easy way out in anything and everything we do ( My alien friend..do you have any answers?).
Is it a lack of a strong enforcing agency ( like in Saudi Arabia where the punishment for offenders are severe?).Or are our enforcing mechanism bad ( refer the lawyers and cops clash in Chennai).
Or our courts where cases have been pending for decades altogether that 1) if a accused is really guilty,he would have undergone his imprisonment by the time the verdict comes 2) if the accused is not guilty,he would have lost a good part of his life behind bars or suffering the stigma of being an accused.
No ..the basic root cause is our attitude.We know that we can do things and get away without being caught.And if in a bluemoon we got caught,we can escape with a 100 rupee not,if not even lesser.

Parting Shot:
Indians, countrymen, be patient till the last. We will go on and on but will not change.Our system is bad and we have no role in making this worse.We are just mute spectators to this.We as individuals can do nothing apart from swimming with the tide.Isnt this thought consoling?

Murphys Law in a Metro

Murphys law of Seats:
1.The metro that you saw passing by will have empty seats in plenty.
2.There would not be any unoccupied seat in the metro you get into.
3.If there are any unoccupied seats,they would be reserved for ladies and old/physically challenged people.
4.If you manage to beat points 1 to 3 and get a seat,you will surely be obliged to give that seat to any senior citizen or lady with a child.

Murphys law of Time:
1.The metro train that you travel in will have maximum crowd so that the door will open and close three times in every station.
2.Thou shall always miss the empty metro by the whisker of a second.

Murphys law of Pretty Lass
1.The coach you enter would not have any pretty girls.
2.If there are any pretty girls ( if you are lucky to beat point 1),she shall be escorted by her boyfriend ( who will scare you to death ,though you are lactually trying to look out of the window just behind the girl).

Indian connection to Oscars 2009

I am not going ga ga over the 8 Oscars won by the “Slumdog Millionaire”,the movie shot in India and which has apparently taken the Indian supremacy to the realm of entertainment.This article is a take on something entirely different.

Let me try to introduce the subject by giving a brief background.
If you are a regular reader of my posts ( which I know is just a handful),I had written a post on my friend.Yeah,the friend whom you might misunderstand to be an “Alien”.
While discussing the reputation of a B School that the person enquired with me,I replied that I have heard that the project reports and question papers for exams are available if you can shell out the money.The person replied that given a chance that person would lap it up as that person does not believe that honest people exists thesedays.If everyone can do that,why not me.As I mentioned earlier ,my friend is a epitome of innocence and I found that quote ridiculous,if not frustrating.
Flash back to 2003.I had given CAT 2003 ( the first attempt) and came out with a glowing confidence that I have done well.I had put into practice everything my coaching centre had taught me and I was confident of cracking the most difficult exam in the world.Only to know that my happiness was short lived.On reaching home,my roommate enquired how the test went.And I said perfectly fine.And he uttered what I didn’t want to hear.He said,no my dear friend,you wont get a call.Cos the papers were leaked and CAT has been cancelled.The frustration is still within me.

The above mentioned “Phenomena” is nothing new in India.Here exam papers are leaked .Probe results are leaked even before they are submitted to the relevant authorities.Movie prints are leaked before they are released in theatres.Important cabinet decisions are leaked to the press even before the cabinet meetings are over.

The author is convinced that the Western world has started copying everything from India blindly.( The author was thinking it was limited to copying things like Yoga and Ayurveda and trying to patent Basmati Rice).How else can you explain the leakage of the list of Oscar winners ( The media is now saying it was a hoax but the leaked list has got 33% right).Way to go India.The world is looking forward to you for guidance.

( Category,Winner as per leaked list,Actual winner)
Actor in a leading role: Mickey Rourke. Sean Penn
Actor in a supporting role: Heath Ledger ,Heath Ledger
Actress in a leading role: Kate Winslet, Kate Winslet
Actress in a supporting role: Amy Adams , Penelope Cruz
Animated Feature Film: Wall-E, Wall-E
Art Direction: The Dark Knight ,Benjamin Button
Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire, Slumdog Millionaire
Costume Design: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button ,Duchess
Directing: Slumdog Millionaire, Slumdog Millionaire
Documentary feature: Man on Wire, The Betrayal
Documentary short: The Conscience of Nhem En ,Smile Pinki
Film editing: Milk, Slumdog Millionaire
Foreign language film: Departures, Departures
Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button ,Benjamin Button
Music (Score): Defiance ,Slumdog Millionaire
Music (Song): Down to Earth (Wall-E) ,Jai Ho ( Slumdog Millionaire)
Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire, Slumdog Millionaire
Short film (animated): Presto ,La Maison en
Short film (live action): Auf Der Strecke (On The Line) ,Spielzeuglant ( Toyland)
Sound editing: Wall-E, Dark Knight
Sound mixing: The Dark Knight, Slumdog Millionaire
Visual effects: Iron Man, Benjamin Button
Writing (Adapted screenplay): The Reader, Slumdog Millionaire
Writing (Original screenplay): In Bruges, Milk

It happens only in India...

India is truly a land of wonders..And though I have been in this country for a little less than 3 decades, I have got to see many places only in the last 6 years (the rest of the time being spent in exploring half of my home state).But like every foreign person now harping about the country, let me too repeat. This country never ceases to surprise you. And to embarrass you and at times frustrate you.

Let me share a few of my recent experiences.

Note: Most of you might ask, what’s new in this; it has always been happening. But for me it’s new and fresh and that’s why I am excited to write about this.
Every management guru and books will talk about stretching our resources and trying to achieve more than what we think we can. A quick look at how we Indians do it.

My first train journey in North India. Slightly nervous, but nevertheless excited, I took my rickshaw to New Delhi Railway Station to board the ShivGanga Express to Banaras.
The railway budget was presented in the Parliament that day morning. The honorable Railway Minister had presented the report card, how Railways made huge profits and grew from Elephant to Cheetah and blah blah.
The Railway Station did present a different picture though. Shabby, Unkempt, Dirty.I don’t know what metaphors to use.I boarded the compartment along with my friend. And when we went to our reserved berth, there were already 6 people sitting there. And another 4 on the side berth. But they didn’t mind giving us some space to sit. Oh My God, how courteous of them right?After taking our seat and making us comfortable, we asked one of them, which is your berth? And he pointed to the upper one. Ok.we asked the next one, which is your berth?And he with an unpleasant look on his face says, I am with this guy! I wonder if this is what we read in newspapers about Seat Sharing arrangement?

The foreigner from Austria was surprised.12 people sitting in seats reserved for 8?Yes my dear friend, It happens only in India. Yes we utilize our resources the best we can.

Banaras Railway Station:
We thought of taking a retiring room at the station to freshen ourself. After all it’s the sacred city of Kashi and we should be clean. When we reached the counter, we were told that there are no rooms and we could use the common dormitory. We pressed for an individual A/C room. With sarcasm writ large on his face, he said no rooms available.

Up comes an Rs 100 note from my friend’s pocket and prompt comes the question.you want the room for just to freshen up right? We nodded our head and lo, the unavailable room opens up. There was even a boy send with us to clean up the room before we occupied it.
God, in Thy holy land, everything is available if you have the power to buy it.

It was noon. I was hungry. I hadn’t had my breakfast (not that I regularly have my breakfast though)…but for a day my friend (who is familiar with Banaras) has been telling me stories about the famous Kachori of Banaras available at the ghat along the holy river Ganga.I didn’t want to spoil my appetite and wanted to fully savour the delicious Kachori. And then I was also eager to have a dip in the Ganga and cleanse myself of all mortal sins. Isnt that every Hindu worth his name wishes to do?
Let me remind you, I don’t carry too much sins with me. Don’t think that am too pious or so. It is just that I had cleansed myself (again in this holy river) at Haridwar 2 years back.
But I was mistaken. Who told that you need to take a dip in the river to cleanse yourself of your sins? Even a look into the river is enough to do that. I should admit that being anywhere near that river is a strong test for your nasal senses. If you cant smell it a kilometer away, be assured, you need to meet your ENT.

Yes, it happens only in India. The river Ganga, which in Mahabharata is referred to as Ganga Maa or Mai, a part of our rich tradition, considered sacred and purifying, can be treated so badly only in India.The entire banks is full of shit ( literally and metamorphically).A cow ( a holy cow?) was standing on this muddle and throwing this yuck at itself.( was it because the Ganga had less water and more yuck that the animal mistook it for a holy river of yuck and took bath in dirt?)

Till I explore new places in this vast country and share my experiences with you, I can only make one remark.
And yeah, the famous Kachori shop was not open that day. I do not know if he had an appointment with his ENT.

Mera Bharat Mahaan.!!!

Life In a Metro

Now come on,am not reviewing a movie that was released long time back and faded into oblivion.
This is just a small peep into the lifeline of millions of delhites..My Metro,the Delhi Metro.
I have seen many writers harping on the fact that they can come across inspiration to write from anywhere.And though I been travelling in the metro for around 2 months,it had to be this combination of events that made me seriously give it a thought.

The noise created around the valentine day celebration was very much fresh.And I was travelling in the metro at peak time from Barakhamba to Dwarka.The train reached Rajiv Chowk,the busiest stop of the metro.By then the train was full and not much space to step in.
And lo,I could see a guy ( whom I assume was a Ram Sena activist) protecting Indian culture.He not only managed to find space for himself just by the door,he protected his girlfriend ( a indian nari) in the coziness of his arms.Now frequent kisses on the girls cheeks is not a huge price to pay for protecting you in a crowded train is it?Now dont talk about love in public places and stuff ok..why cant people consider that he was doing his duty by protecting a lady in the maddening crowd where there was hardly any space to stand?How could anyone disagree the (pretty) girl right in front of me ,who commented,this is how the wise people spend their time in a metro?

The metro is a sample of the vast universe i.e Delhi.You find people of all types,professions and gender in the metro.From school going kids ( not sure if everyone goes to school,i seen school couples bunking school and going to roam around , the crowded metro setting a perfect vehicle to vanish without being noticed)..to teenagers going for outing,to office going people,workers,street circus people and even beggars board the metro.

The Delhi Metro is also a source of learning and knowledge.I know a lil bit about knitting that i learned by observing the aunty next to me do it.I do get to read certain articles in the morning newspaper without having to buy one ( by the numerous people who stand in front of me and read the paper).I learned about vehicle insurance from one guy who was referring the manual.I learned about the latest in ladies fashion observing the beautiful girls who board the metro daily.

I remember the first time I boarded the metro during non peak time.I remarked to Alok how boring it was to spend the 45 minutes in the train.Now I vouch for the metro.45 minutes just whizzes past me given the vast options that I have to keep myself occupied. I have rediscovered my old lost hobby and habit of Reading.Now i religiously carry my books along and get more than a hours reading in my daily routine.
Did anyone wonder why every mobile worth the name has a FM radio in it?Check the Delhi Metro.Everyone who carries a mobile in the metro would have had his headphones firmly in their ears.Marconi must be happy in his grave seeing his modest invention entertaining lakhs of Delhites in the metro through the 11 odd FM stations.

Delhi Metro...my Metro..tujhe salaam

Well begun is half done...or is it Not Done?

My mother calls me 'Arambashunakan'...I dont know the meaning of the term..but she told me that it means someone who starts of things in right earnest and then leaves it midway..Might be she is true..or should i say she is right?Pondering over it..The ABAP course I did while working in Hyderabad..the gym in bangalore where in lost 4 kgs in a month ( and put on 6 kgs during the 3 months that I rested after te 1st month)..the unfilled ICWAI form lying in my cupboard..just a few instances worth mentioning..

Anyways what prompted me to write this is the incidents the media was showcasing over the past few months..

Mumbai 26/11:The spirit of Mumbai..We wont take this lying down.We wont let this die..blah blah..All that is happening now is the occasional war of words between a few top government officials..

Obama Mania..Obama,the most important person in the world at the moment..the man who is going to save America and eventually the rest of the world..Hope he just does not fade into oblivion..

Nearer to you and me,the numerous New Year resolutions..It is just the 2nd month of the year and I am sure most of the resolutions would have gone down the drain..

I am not saying I am immune to this..The beer in my refridgerator is my testimony that I am party to what i preached above..

Might be its time to rephrase the saying..after all well begun might be half done..but who cares when it is the other half that matters more?